RAPE/ABUSE

   Girls in most cases go through a lot of things as they grow up, Behind every attitude in a girl there is a story. Boys too go through these but girls are badly affected. Emotionally and they trust one not even their own shadow.
   There is this particular girl i know, I will not exactly call her a friend but a good girl who confided in me, am happy to have known her because she was drowning and right now i don't know how she feels but i hope i was able to help out where i could.
    Tsunami is her name, she is a girl who has been reserved almost all her life, this girl doesn't remember the last time she smiled or even held a serious talk with anyone. She was defiled by someone she knew as her cousin who was in form three and she was nine years old class three by then. I know what you are thinking very young right? Well it happened and it's happening to many other other girls out there and it has happened to many others too who have not spoken about it and have not had a chance to talk  about it because they don't have a "friend" in any one to talk to. They feel so dirty and embarrassed to speak about this shameful act.
   Those who get a chance to talk about it do talk about it but in most cases remain dissatisfied, i would advise professional help. Tsunami does get moody at times and doesn't want to  talk to anyone but i believe its because of the nightmare she faced many years ago. She has never spoken about it not even with her own mum. She gets so angry at times even with her mum sending her for something. I don't know if it's this particular nightmare   that makes her resentful to her mother or there is something else she wants to talk about but she can't. It hurts and i see the rage in her eyes, i can tell she hurts so much. She silently cries in her bed some times before she sleeps, a lot happened that can never be undone. I just pray that some day she can learn to break the chains of her misery and trust again because i understand that as a growing girl she was a very sweet girl who was loved by everyone and now she feels like she doesn't deserve anyone. She is so pushy she drives friends out of her life and it's affecting her. It almost broke her relationship with  a guy who really loves her.
   Tsunami has a dark story that i will tell you about in bits so that you can try to help her opinion wise, i will try and get to her as i have always done but this girl is lost and drowning especially because she never got professional help after the nightmare befell her. Parents should protect their children.

photo by http://www.essence.com/2011/03/29/pain-of-rejection-is-more-physical-than-emotional/
 Watch out more stories about tsunami for they will be coming in time by time till we can all help her.
That fateful night, Aunt Debi had traveled to Dubai when Joseph took advantage of Tsunami.
That night Tsunami went to bed as usual and they were told to sleep in the super market by aunt Debi so as to kind of keep it from thieves. Tsunami slept but in her sleep she felt like someone was watching her and when she opened her eyes she could see someone standing by her bed side, it was Joseph. She thought some thing was wrong so she asked him is he was OK and he said he wasn't. He jumped on her and everything happened so fast. Joseph raped Tsunami and no one learn t about it. Till today Tsunami is still under this nightmare and it has changed her completely, moody, not tolerant and very serious with life. No man plays with her emotions.


   

Love vs Lust

 Most people have never understood the difference between love and lust. Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate.  when a person is experiencing the intense lust of physical attraction. Also in the early stage of a relationship, when the sex hormones are raging, lust is fueled by idealization and projection--you see what you hope someone will be or need them to be--rather than seeing the real person, flaws and all.  Pure lust is based solely on physical attraction and fantasy--it often dissipates when the "real person" surfaces. It's the stage of wearing rose colored glasses when he or she "can do no wrong." Being in love doesn't exclude lust. In fact, lust can lead to love. However, real love, not based on idealization or projection, requires time to get to know each other. Here are some signs to watch for to differentiate pure lust from love.

Signs of lust

• You're totally focused on a person's looks and body.
• You're interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.
• You'd rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.
• You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning.
• You are lovers, but not friends

Signs of love

• You want to spend quality time together other than sex.
• You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.
• You want to honestly listen to each others feelings, make each other happy.
• He or she motivates you to be a better person.
• You want to get to meet his or her family and friends.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201108/lust-vs-love-do-you-know-the-difference.
Most people  have issues with ex's.

Q My boyfriend of two years broke up with me six moths ago but he still texts everyday to say things like "i really miss you and i feel like am going to regret ending our relationship. Now this girl doesn't understand and needs advise.
A. He is Using you as an emotional booty call, he wants to be reassured that you are still in to him.
What he says maybe true to an extent but this effed up dynamic only benefits him by making it more difficult for you to date other guys which means your ex doesn't need to truly deal with the fact that your relationship is over.
Whether he realizes it or not, he's acting selfish and playing games. He hasn't found anyone else and when he does he'll stop calling. Tell him that you need space and you don't want to talk for a while. Then do what he doesn't want you to do. move on

The strength of a woman

Women are strong, we face abuse from boyfriends, Husbands but we still hold on and we remain hope full for a better tomorrow. We don't do this because of the fear of losing it all in love but we do it for the strength and hope for a better tomorrow and a chance for someone to be a better person.
Women we hold on for our children to have a better future not missing the male figure in their lives, some women hold on for a better relationship and guidance from God.

What do you hold on for?
We get battered but we still fall i love hoping that the next relationship will be better. Some turn out better but some actually don't, but at the end of it all we still have the strength to move on and we stand tall and we face the world. Only the strong survive here, we have seen some hang themselves for not being able to carry the burden.

Some trip buy they remain confident to face tomorrow, that what we are, we shall always be women, we remain confident to carry on our daily duties. Our mothers much as some faced violence they still held on to give us a better future.

Now tell me why we have so many women dumping children in bins today, is it that our mothers are not teaching us enough morals? Should we blame it on technology? Or should we blame the government for sparing the rod and spoiling the child? Today's girl child is going astray... We need our morals back. We need our self centered children we need to discipline our children and mold them into trusted people, people we shall look up to in the future and say that's my daughter. A strong woman will always hold on to what she loves most, the love of a husband can reduce but the love of a child will never go away, no matter how old you get that little angel you carried 30years ago will forever be a baby to it's mother. The most priceless ornament is the one of your little child's hands around your neck.

I love my mother much as i don't show her how much.... I know i do because no one and nothing can replace her. Happy mothers day to all mothers out there.

Children a blessing to us

I have grown up loving children especially little girls. I don't remember much how my life as a child was since i moved form place to place but i have had the chance to see children grow into beautiful little girls.

I have not yet been blessed with my own child but i am grateful cause i have seen my nieces and nephews grow into adorable children. I got Daniela who is the oldest of all. Very loving and she studies people before interacting with them. Five years old in class one is brightness. I got Ali who is now five years old, i have not interacted much with him but i love him. Alesha my charming princess, this one i have watched grow and i would give anything for her lucky charms, she is one child you fall in love with once you meet her. Very Adorable. Diana talkative and ever smiling. Imran is loving and has not learn t how to speak well. I  love my family and i am very lucky to be part of this lovely family. My love for children is real.

Above are my nieces and nephew, Alesha and I, Daniela and I and lastly Imran. They are my joy and i love them so much.

When fear of death knocks.

The stillness of the night creeps in
The howling of the wolves unending
Fear lingers in the old Ammah's mind
This may be her last night,
Who will feed her goats?
Water her plants?
And take care of her possessions in this world!
She's all alone, no one seems to care
Not even her children whom she bore painfully
And as her thoughts trouble her,
The dawn breaks with a smile
A new day has come.

Just how much do you love your mother? Tomorrow is mothers day, you don't have to buy her new clothes to show her that you love her. Some times just reminding her how you feel puts a smile on her face. Because you are her baby no matter how old you think you are, she will always care about you. Call your mother and tell her how much you love her.
Happy Mothers day.